This has been an incredibly hard year. Probably the hardest of my life to date, and I don’t say that lightly. It has felt like each trial, however great or small, has only been in preparation for the following ordeal with only a few short weeks in between. I don’t want to list all of the horrible things in my life, that would be pointless, make for awful reading material, and it’s honestly not my perspective on the situation, but as I have not written for months, I will share some of the things that have been happening. Even if the only point is to say that I am alive and healthy and I don’t *think* I’ve gone crazy.
Some of you might have read that my cousin who had Cystic Fibrosis was really struggling. After a successful double lung transplant, an amazing recovery, and even a return to her studies, she took a turn for the worse. The infection that had destroyed her lungs returned and was rapidly taking her new lungs down. Despite hoping and praying and against all the efforts of the leading doctors in the field, there was nothing that could be done. On the 22nd of December, 2014 Kari-Lee Birrell said her last goodbyes. It was sudden, we thought we would have a few days to say goodbye, but the day she made a final post on Facebook was the day she left us.
“Just so everyone knows I’m being sent home today as there’s nothing else the doctors can do. I didn’t think it would come to this but I’ve just got a few days left. So I just want to say love all people, respect others and be grateful for the little things in life. Peace Out.”
I wish I could have been there to give her one last hug, one last precious squeeze and tell her that I love her, that I would always miss my twin cousin. I got a phone call in the middle of work that day, and my heart dropped. I ran for the phone and saw Mum’s name. I didn’t have to call her back. I already knew. I went to the hospital and saw her. She wasn’t struggling to breathe any more. It sounds crazy, but as I saw her lying there, it was as if she was finally free to breathe.
Kari has left a space in the world that is incredibly difficult to fill. As hard as it is to say goodbye, it is even harder to carry on. It is only her strength, adventurous spirit, and her faith that lead as an example. She had such strength in the face of pain and adversity. She was carried by her sense of humour. She lived her life as full as she could with travel, study, and friends and family. At the end of the day it is her faith that stands out to me. She knew where she was going. She knew an Ultimate Love. It seems like a lovely Christian saying, but I really do take comfort in the fact that I will see her again, and that she is breathing fully and deeply. As I pray for her husband and family, I hope that they take hold of the fact that the same Father who comforted her, can comfort them. It’s still hard without Kari. Even as I write this sitting in an open coffee shop in a busy shopping centre, I am fighting tears.
The greatest and hardest lesson I have learned is that it’s not that He will take you out of the situation, but that He knows and meets you right in the midst of it.
runtored 