Over the last 3 or so months (apparently silent according to this blog) I have experienced a range of emotions that resemble, less of a rollercoaster, and more of a giant hill going down… Really far down… Like the kind Jack and Jill should avoid. I won’t go into all the ins and outs of drama, because who wants to read that: but what I do want to say, is that I’ve struggled. Even more than that, I’ve realised that in the rough times I haven’t been able to maintain the everyday facade of general positivity that most of the Aussie population likes to show.
“Hey, how are ya?”
“Hey, good thanks.”
Having repeated this many, many times in the recent months it lost any identity as a question, and instead became a greeting, and to be perfectly honest, it’s really started to bug me. Because each day has brought it’s own flavour of stress or frustration, I can’t reply that I’m good. I’m not good. I need a hug!
However, despite all of this I have found strengthened friendships, a real connection with my family, a heightened commitment to faith, and a dash of creative spice. I’m learning to be a more honest person, and not the stalwart picture of first-born strength. I’m learning to say ‘I can’t do it on my own,’ (A stupidly hard lesson it seems). Not to say the stress is over. No, not by a long way! It seems that the giant hill I’ve broken my crown on is taking all of my options away so I have no choice but to lean on Father (God).
I think I’m starting to get it now. I *think*. Can the lesson be learnt now or are patience chapters to work through too?
runtored 