I’ve spoken before about how much of a bookworm I was growing up. One of the series I loved was the Anne of Green Gables books. In fact, for a longer period of my life than I am willing to admit, I crushed hard on Gilbert Blythe, her childhood nemesis turned handsome doctor and husband (didn’t we all?).* I loved Anne-with-an-e’s unchecked imagination, and she often reminded me of myself with my head in the clouds and an imagination that lead to some ridiculous moments. Over the years, there was one idea that Anne held on to that stood out to me. She loved the unknown bends in the road, not knowing what lay ahead, but moving toward it with such hope.
“My future seemed to stretch out before me like a straight road. I thought I could see along it for many a milestone. Now there is a bend in it. I don’t know what lies around the bend, but I’m going to believe that the best does.”
― L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables
I am not like this! No, I am the person who is trying to guess the plot of every movie and figure out who dies and who survives. My friends have patiently ignored me while I bugged them for spoilers, and in the same way, I don’t like not knowing what will happen in my life. What I have learned over the last few years, is that my road has had many bends, and it’s rarely been fun moving through them. It’s a stretching, aching, groaning processes, that sometimes feels like it’s hammering me into change as opposed to fine tuning, but it is always worth it.
At the moment I’m terrified (okay slightly dramatic… I’m apprehensive), because I’m staring down to a curve with some big changes. To make it through I know I’m going to have to adjust habits that have helped define my phlegmatic self for years. My forgetful, disorganised, she’ll-be-right nature that I have tried to curb will not get me through. This time at least I know there are basic goals that I am working towards, for these I am pumped! But I don’t know exactly how the final product will look both personally and for my goals, just that the process will be hard work.
I don’t shy away from hard work. You can’t complete a 70.3 distance triathlon, or live with a toddler without expecting to sweat, and possibly swear. In that regard I am really looking forward to the next few months of training and learning! Personal changes however, seem to be much harder to instil.
The mantra I kept repeating to myself during the hard training sessions leading into the Sunshine Coast race is that discomfort is the catalyst for change. Over and again I would repeat this to myself, and it’s so true. The body is all about efficiency, it won’t change unless it is required. I train to stress my body, and it adjust to accommodate to the new normal. However, if I don’t increase or change the stimulus, I plateau.
I have felt for the last few months that I was in a preparation phase. I wasn’t sure what for, but I knew I had to get ready. I really think I did prepare by applying some minimalist principles, getting rid of a lot of things, losing more weight, and spending what time I could with my girl and my family. Now I’m entering the build. We’re moving house into a much smaller space, and I have begun my first prac this week. I also have really exciting things happening on the work front which I will hopefully be able to expand on soon. But all of this combined with training and being a mum is going to be a juggle that will test me. I’m unsure what the end result will look like, and that scares me in both a good and bad way, but I’m leaning into it. I’m repeating the same mantra again, because to achieve (nay survive) change has to occur. Above all though, I am excited, because like Anne, I believe that the best will be around the bend.
*Relationship Opening: Tall, dark and handsome doctors please apply in the comments. Extra points if your name is Gilbert.
runtored 